Swinging by a Thread: The Misadventures of an Accidental Swinger

Author:Audra Morgan
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2012-07-09T14:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Swinging into a Straightjacket, or When You’re Just too Damned Crazy for This Shit

As I have already mentioned, swinging tends to amplify personalities and relationship issues. Well, when you’re already batshit crazy, that can be a huge problem. We’ve interacted with singles and couples in the swinger scene who would be better suited to a mental institution than a swing club; sometimes it’s highly entertaining, and sometimes it’s downright sad. Every great once in a while, it’s absolutely terrifying.

We met a single woman named Kat for drinks one night; she was nice, and fairly good-looking, but she just wasn’t someone we felt we were interested in physically. We wished her well after a few hours of drinks and conversation, and we went on with our lives. A few weeks later, we ran into a female friend of ours, and as it turned out, she and Kat had recently met and become friends. Our mutual friend grilled us on why we hadn’t wanted to “play” with Kat, and what we felt was wrong with her. We simply said she was nice, but we weren’t interested. A month or so later, we were at a club we didn’t normally attend. It was Valentine’s Day, and the club was having a special party. We were there with a few friends, drinking and people-watching from a sofa, when Kat and our other friend walked in. They had clearly been drinking and enjoying the night, as we had. Kat approached Tyler, dropped to her knees in front of him, and began flirting heavily with him. He was friendly, but made it clear he wasn’t interested. She tried repeatedly to take him upstairs to the play area, but he politely declined. She stormed off in a huff, and that was the last time we ever spoke to her.

Since then, we’ve seen Kat at our regular club numerous times, always on nights single men are allowed. She usually shows up alone, immediately strips down to nothing, and prances about, hoping for the attention of anyone who might see her. One night, she arrived with a large bag full of vibrators and dildos. She hopped up onto the bar, stripped, and began to use a vibrator on herself as the other club members sat and tried to enjoy their drinks. I’m sure a few of the patrons appreciated the show, but most of us wished she’d taken her “act” to the second floor. It smacked of desperation and of a pathological need for attention and acceptance. We began to understand why she was so offended when we turned her down, and why she didn’t seem to want to take no for an answer.

This sort of crazy is certainly not restricted to single women; there are single men that seem to have similar issues. One night we were at the club on a Friday night, celebrating Tyler’s birthday. It was a holiday weekend, so there was an unusually large crowd, and many more couples than normally attended on Fridays.

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